Cocooning

Rich and I have been praying and talking about whether to buy a second "beater" car. We've been a "one-car" family for over six years now, and I think we've surprised ourselves at how we've been able to make this arrangment work. For several years, Rich's place of employment was within walking distance of our home. And he had a buddy from work that was happy to carpool. So, I was able to drive our Jeep during the day. This was the "best" arrangement of the six years.

However, with Rich's recent job change, walking and carpooling to work are no longer options. His employer is 30 minutes north of Chanhassen, so he needs the Jeep. The kids and I have survived the summer by biking to local beaches or walking around town. (It's a blessing that we live only a couple blocks from Chanhassen's main drag). But now that school is starting up, and Ryker is starting first grade, we're re-evaluating our limitations and praying about possibilities.

I won't lie. During the months that I've had to do it, it's been a challenge for me to be at home without a car. This year, I'll be at home with 3-year old Sean. I do best with the kids when I don't feel so isolated from others, and trapped at home during cold weather. Being alone feeds my tendency towards depression. I need to stay connected and involved.

We've been praying for the resources to buy something super-duper cheap (like less than $1000) and then Rich realized that his old employer "owed" him money for 2 weeks of vacation that he was never able to take. The other day we received the check for $1000. It definitely felt like a provision, and Rich has been following leads he's found in the paper, online, and through word of mouth to find a car.

Then, today we went to church. The focus of the service was on a recent mission trip to El Salvador. The stories that were shared were so touching, and my heart swelled with the dream of taking a trip there myself someday to meet our brothers and sisters in Christ. And for some reason, I started thinking about how interconnected the people of the church were there. Their poverty leads them to depend on each other for needs to be met. They're helping each other. Giving. Receiving. Healing. Loving. Be-Friending. Dreaming. Reaching. Working side by side.

And I wondered if these gifts are the ones we miss when we rely solely on money to meet needs. For example: Maybe there are solutions to our transportation problem that exclude spending $1000, like asking a neighbor to drive my children to school if they are already driving their own. And asking a friend from biblestudy (one of my major life lines) to pick Sean and me up every Friday.

It's hard for me to depend on others. But, maybe this fear of being dependent, or "needy" or burdensome is--on a larger scale--the reason we (or anyone for that matter) spend money that could be better used in another way. Something breaks. . . .well, just go buy a new coffee maker, lawn mower, radio, blow dryer, or car right? The last option we think of is asking someone else for help, or letting our needs be known. Because there's a feeling of "power" in being able to provide for one's self. Is it pride? Society's definition of self-sufficiency as "success?" Are these the "rules" (take care of yourself first and depend on no one) that contribute to the serious problem of debt in America?

I'm not sure. But, it has me thinking, and Rich and I are talking things through again. Should we try to be more humble, creative, dependent on God and others? Are we supposed to buy a second car, or should we learn to reach out more? We're not sure. . . so we're back on our knees. I'll let you know what we decide. . . .