Cocooning

I didn't want to go to church this last Wednesday night. (It's sad: I've been so hungry for a word of comfort or encouragement, but for some reason I'm reluctant to go to the one place where I might receive one.) I went, though, because my daughter wanted to sing for the congregation with her Vacation Bible School friends. Thank goodness for the coaxing of a child, because it was the first time in a long time that I felt God speaking to me.


The service was built around the Holden Evening Prayer music that I love, and Pastor Kristie spoke. She and a group of our church's youth had just returned from their mission trip to El Salvador. Her experiences there so perfectly tied in with the gospel reading, which was about the man who had so much wealth that he built huge storehouses to contain everything. And after he set up these mighty storehouses, he was ready to sit back and soak up the sense of security that can only come from being prepared, smart, successful. But the Lord said to him, "You fool, do you not know that this very night, your life is required of you?"

For someone who doesn't have "piddly" in her savings account, and nothing tucked away for those "good 'ol" retirement years, these words are sooooo comforting! Not that we shouldn't be smart, ready, wise. (Even though I think our culture is slightly out of whack regarding the levels to which we go with this, our family too would try and secure our future financially if we had the resources.) But, it seems that over and over again God is reminding us that TODAY is what matters, and that we're mortal creatures, and that nobody knows how many days we'll be given! Our lives are not our own, they're in God's hands.

I was not only comforted by the scripture passage, but encouraged. As I sat there on the pew, my mind and spirit were flooded with all of the biblical stories and important 'aha' moments I've had over the last few years regarding money vs. spiritual abundance. It was like a whole string of annunciations that formed one beautiful crown of assurance, and God was slipping it onto my head, saying: "I know you don't think you're secure, safe, okay, held, loved, but you are." There are so many bible stories that have touched my life, and I've allowed them to hold me up for awhile, and then I sink again (much like Peter trying to walk on water.) I'll use this blog to start sharing some of those stories and 'aha' moments in future posts, but here's a tiny thought for starters:

I have a new understanding for the Jews of Jesus' time, who were waiting for a Messiah because they were so severely oppressed by the Roman government. They were POOR--desperate for justice and solutions and security and grace. (For some reason, simply knowing this comforts me.) And then came Jesus, born into a poor family, in one of the poorest villages around, without any overt agenda regarding the Romans. . .no schemes for overthrowing the obvious cultural oppression. Instead, he goes for the oppression and pain of their souls. Father forgive me, but I--like many of the Jews were--am disbelieving when Jesus seems to overlook financial woes, claiming my spiritual chains are more severe. (ouch!)

However, the true source of my suffering is exactly what I need to see, and it was more fully revealed to me while sitting in the pew of Wednesday's church service. Material deprivation seems to magnify for me a struggle with personal shame. It also exaggerates my sense of loneliness, living against the flow of culture (not by choice mind you--oh that my faith would be that great). After singing portions of the "Magnificat" and watching Jennifer sing, "Saved by Grace" with all the wacky hand motions she learned in bible school, I left church with a renewed sense of peace, and a new willingness to trust that I am right where I am supposed to be. (If you could've heard Pr. Kristie's sermon, perhaps you'd understand why. (To read her sermon in it's entirety, click here: http://www.familyofchristonline.com/sermon_8_5_07.html ) Pr. Kristie closed the service by having us close our eyes and listen to the following passage:

"Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

"So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after [!] all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. " --Matthew 6:25-33

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destsroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." --Matthew 6: 19-21

I want to be rich towards God.