Freaking Out
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
We finally bought a car! It's a black '99 Taurus station wagon. Massive miles on it, 210,00 (I wince even mentioning such a high number), but the engine runs smoothly. According to my mechanic-minded husband, there are no ticks or knocks or anything major to worry about.
At least for the time being. . .
Which is why I'm freaking out. I felt at peace with the process, and sensed God's hand in it. But, I also know that God's hand in something does not necessarily mean we're guaranteed a problem-free road. God is generous with spiritual assurance, but not necessarily wordly insurance. At least it seems that way to me. I'm trying to grow in trust, and our finances are still stretched way too thin, so maybe I'm "off" on this. Am I supposed to have faith that the transmission on this car won't die? Or faith that God will provide even if it does? I held my breath when we drove off the car lot, half expecting our new "buy" to sputter and stall within seconds -- you know, fork over tons of money and then "the jokes on you."
We were about $400 short when it came to taxes and title transfer, so we also have a balance to take care of within the next few months. I'll have to trust that tips from waitressing are good, and do my best to pick up extra shifts wherever possible.
I'm definitely feeling the squeeze. Christmas is right around the corner. And we still have these medical bills to pay.
Rich, on the other hand, feels relieved. His wife and kids finally have safe, mileage friendly transportation! And we found the car BEFORE school started. He feels good about the car's condition on the inside and out. He's been very reassuring. "It's exactly what we were hoping for, Cheri. A 'nice' beater".
I'm hoping his feelings are more reality-based than mine.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
Lord, may I experience YOUR kind of peace, a calm unprovoked by a turn in the tide.
At least for the time being. . .
Which is why I'm freaking out. I felt at peace with the process, and sensed God's hand in it. But, I also know that God's hand in something does not necessarily mean we're guaranteed a problem-free road. God is generous with spiritual assurance, but not necessarily wordly insurance. At least it seems that way to me. I'm trying to grow in trust, and our finances are still stretched way too thin, so maybe I'm "off" on this. Am I supposed to have faith that the transmission on this car won't die? Or faith that God will provide even if it does? I held my breath when we drove off the car lot, half expecting our new "buy" to sputter and stall within seconds -- you know, fork over tons of money and then "the jokes on you."
We were about $400 short when it came to taxes and title transfer, so we also have a balance to take care of within the next few months. I'll have to trust that tips from waitressing are good, and do my best to pick up extra shifts wherever possible.
I'm definitely feeling the squeeze. Christmas is right around the corner. And we still have these medical bills to pay.
Rich, on the other hand, feels relieved. His wife and kids finally have safe, mileage friendly transportation! And we found the car BEFORE school started. He feels good about the car's condition on the inside and out. He's been very reassuring. "It's exactly what we were hoping for, Cheri. A 'nice' beater".
I'm hoping his feelings are more reality-based than mine.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
Lord, may I experience YOUR kind of peace, a calm unprovoked by a turn in the tide.
I can tell you from personal experience, there aren't too many things this side of His Salvation that compare to that last "Paid in Full" bank statement. May God richly bless you and your husband's effort in this.
Blessings, B.
P.S. 210,000 miles? 'Tis but barely broke in...