Cocooning: October 2009

How He Loves Us

Saturday, October 24, 2009

He Loves Us
(lyrics by Kim Walker)

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me

Oh how he loves us, so
Oh How he loves us,
how he loves us so

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are
and how great your affections are for me

And oh, how he loves us so,
Oh how he loves us,
how he loves us so
Yeah he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves

We are his portion and he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we’re all sinking
So, heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way He loves us

Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves
Yeah, he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

He loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves

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What is Cocooning?

When I first started this blog, I was in a season of life that felt like a complete undoing. I was undergoing a personal death of sorts, a reversal of life as I had once known it. And suddenly everything came into question: my identity, my relationships, my purpose on earth, and even my faith.

Oh how I related to the caterpillar folded mysteriously into a cocoon! I struggled with doubt and depression, and clung prayerfully to a personal mantra:

"She harbors new life in her brooding cocoon with the delicate promise of wings."

Those poetic words were my reminder throughout difficult changes to hope and trust in the Creator's promise, that I am a NEW CREATION!

I'm a creative enough person to know that "creations" aren't "snap-finger" products. They take time, patience, and stubborn vision. Sometimes they need to be completely reworked. And most of the time they're messy.

After several years of brooding, spinning, waiting, wondering, and eeking out some form of trust that everything would work out for the better, something new is indeed happening--on the inside and the outside.

I'm living with new joy.

I wanted to mark these changes with a new blog title. "Butterfly-ing" is the closest I can come to describing the miraculous shift. But on the heels of these transformations, and as I enter midlife, I realize I'm still waiting. For new things, yes, and different things, of course, but somehow still waiting and still wondering about the same core issues: my identity, my purpose on earth, and how faith fits with it all.

And so even now, with the whisper of wings fluttering on the distant horizon, cocooning remains an apt metaphor. Hope still feels delicate. I still have questions over which I brood (I'm sure you'll read many of my broodings here). But, I'm learning to be more comfortable with the creative mess.

More and more, I'm letting Spirit-friend "go at it" in her studio (my own heart and soul). And I'm wasting less energy running after her, trying to tidy up.

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